Sometime in 2021, there was a trend on Facebook of endless tales surrounding making compromises for a family to accept you to be married to their son/daughter. I’ve not in so much strength shared the opinion that validity is not necessary. But c’mon, from the beginning of the relationship, there should have been a lay out if a family’s lifestyle and values and the need to proceed if there ideals suit you. I wouldn’t find any relationship that crumbles for quite deficient reasons.
The story that stirred this current trend up was that of a lady, whose marriage to a guy was cancelled because she flaunted her man’s orders and wore a pair of trousers to his parents’ house.
First of all, I’ll consider this tale both stale and flimsy. On both partners’ part, there should have been a thing called “recognition of values”. I mean, the conservations that abound behind the scenes are totally worthy of note. If you have realized what you intend to be the end goal of your relationship and you’re quite convinced, such cock and bull issues will matter less.
Gone are those days when certain moral bias especially on the sides of parents were a thing to ponder on. Even though the mantra – “give to Ceaser what belongs to Ceaser” still stands, the world has evolved so deeply that a lot of reformations have taken place, in the minds and perceptions of people. It is however, quite surprising to know that certain archaic values still hold water in some families.
There was certainly, a time when wearing trousers in MOST Nigerian families was a taboo – Unmentioned. Unacted. Abhorred. This situation was grossly a helpless one such that those kids who desired such adventure outdid themselves when they finally leave the confines of their immediate homes. Crazy right? It’s just obvious that most parents still live in those times.
Reformation, despite clinching its teeth on every nook of existence still seems far fetched?
The above question should be pondered upon. Especially as it relates to individuals and their diverse abilities in embracing change. Probably, should be researched. Enough of the generalization and the assumption that change has swept all manner of unrealistic perceptions away.
“Time does much while at the same time, compounds ignorance”.
It takes an intentional embrace to be able to move with the tide. If not this, how could you claim that your fiancée is no longer fit for that role because she wore trousers to your parents house?
Apart from the lameness of that particular conversation (if it was had at all), it is quite disappointing on the tables of communication to realize that people, (in love) do not talk or in the least, observe that much about what they love and by extension, what their possible actions in a particular circumstance could be.
What do lovers really talk about?
Butterflies in the belly are not enough signs that you’re ready to COMPROMISE. There’s an emphasis on compromise because that’s what loving and being loved entails. As much as you’ve got a particularly linear approach towards things, it’s best to give your significant other the benefit of doubt.
Check this: if the two people involved in this valued their involvement in each others lives, then there would have been a point of balance.(on one side or both sides).
Unfortunately, their decision is solely laid at their own discretion. And no matter how much the situation is talked about or dissected, the deed has just been done.
What would matter to you if you were at that crossroad — Your family’s acceptance of your lover or the authenticity of your relationship with him/her?
Remember that the bone of contention in this case is : DRESSING.